Dear Past Self

Dear Past Self,

I bet you didn’t think you would become the person you are right now. Back in middle school you didn’t know who you were. You were only listening to alternative music and hanging out with scene kids. You felt alone and you didn’t really get along with anyone.

High school hit and you started making friends. You believed in being cool with everyone and you got along with everyone. You still felt alone but you were content.

Fast forward to college. Your first semester was TRASH. STRAIGHT TRASH. You got into an argument with three of your seven roommates (swear none of it was my fault), at different times of the semester. You learned college isn’t as easy as movies make it very quickly. And you also learned that not everyone has grown up with the same morals as you. However, you learned to not take anyone’s shit when you’re not in the wrong and I couldn’t be more prouder.

As you entered sophomore year, you found yourself liking a boy. You should’ve known then he was trouble and you should stay away from Satan. But you didn’t listen (you never do.) However, you learned that you are willing to help anyone. You also got out of your shell and joined some clubs. That is why I knew you were social and not as introverted as you thought. You also learned you love concerts and hiking. Those two things would shock your younger self.

Junior year you learned some tough lessons. One, the hardest, your dad passing away. I don’t know how you managed to deal with that during finals but I’m proud you didn’t have a break down you worked hard given the circumstances, he would be proud. Also, you learned you can’t make anyone love you. Satan chose a girl over you, but it is okay. For you are learning to be happier with yourself and learning to be comfortable in your own skin because of it. You learned to not put others ahead of you but put yourself first. Satan taught you that–no matter how much effort you want put in and try to make someone like you, they won’t. Don’t chase anyone and don’t let anyone drag you down, you are not a rug. He also taught me to be yourself and to not let anyone tear you down. (He tore you down a lot. You shouldn’t listen to shitty guys. If someone is miserable you can’t try to fix them. Let them be miserable and you be happy young nugget).

However look at the progress you’ve made so far. You joined your yearbook (yay journalist status). You joined an organization for helping girls all over the world be the first of their family to go to school. You made a lot of friends. You recently got hired for a summer job (make that cash girl) and you are proud to be young black and free.

I hope senior year teaches you a lot of easy lessons. My main goal for you is to stay true to yourself. Continue being smart-mouthed and hardworking. I hope you get a great job that you would be excited to work with and moves you to NYC. This time next year I hope you have millions of blessings lined up. Stay true to yourself. Work hard for your goals and make your parents proud.

I love you and I’m so glad you’re becoming comfortable in your own skin. I can’t wait to see who you are this time next year.

Love always,

Kirsten

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